| Once Upon a Time in Soho | Good Clean Fun | Steaming to Valpo | ||
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“Psst! Wanna buy the Brooklyn
Bridge?” has been a running gag since the bridge was completed in 1883. Once
Upon A Time In Soho is a modern day fairytale based on this often
discussed, but highly unlikely, transaction. It focuses on a long weekend
in the life of John Russell, a reclusive ex-architect at the ebb tide of
life following the death of his wife and young son. Numb to the vibrant
world he once belonged to, Russell is stuck in a quagmire of apathy and
alcohol from which he has no desire to escape. Each day fades into the one
that follows until the day a very angry and very drunk New York City
deputy mayor offers him a shot of booze and the Brooklyn Bridge for one
dollar. With John Russell as the legal owner of
the bridge, his days as a recluse are numbered by the mayor who must get
it back to cover up the corruption that allowed it to be sold in the first
place; after all, it is an election year. And Kim Blaine, an ambitious
investigative reporter acting on an anonymous tip, has her eye on a
career-making story that threatens to break down the walls of indifference
that protect the pieces of a broken man’s heart. Conflict, corruption, and not-so-hidden
agendas intertwine in a hectic chase to determine the ownership of the
Brooklyn Bridge and, ultimately, a man’s ownership of his soul. |
Stanford University educated Thomas
Collins, owner and operator of the TC Ranch, a legal whorehouse in
Churchill County, Nevada, is asked by NYC officials to head their
experiment to clean up the streets of Manhattan by opening a legal,
city-run brothel. At first Thomas turns down the job (he wants to stay at
home), but because two large men are out to break his legs, he quickly
decides that going to New York is in his own best interests. He leaves his
pretty women on the ranch and hops the next jet headed for the Big Apple. In Manhattan, Thomas meets the
mayor’s officials in charge of the experiment: Frank Knot, the man in
the mayor’s office; Stan Gill, the Commissioner of the Department of
Parks and Recreation; and Barbara Nichols, the project accountant in
charge of the money. Thomas also meets a seedier side of the
city when he encounters the people who have the most to lose if
prostitution ever became legal: the corrupt politicians and cops, the Mob,
and the pimps and dealers. The conflicts between the Good Guys and
Bad Guys escalates to a very funny face-to-face encounter at the Palms
Hotel. |
In the tradition of the Keystone Cops,
the Three Stooges, and the Marx Brothers, Steaming
To Valpo, an action adventure comedy, is a madcap flight of fantasy
which takes place on a supertanker carrying a cargo of grain very slowly
across the Pacific Ocean from Caracas, Pakistan, to Valparaiso, Chile. The
Beta Belle has been out to sea
for ten months with no port time, and the crew, the Captain included, has
gone temporarily insane. Everyone wants a good meal and a great woman, but
they have neither on board...yet. Mark McCabe, the Bosun, is trying his
best to hold himself together so he can hold what’s left of the crew
together. Except he’s having a harder and harder time ignoring his vivid
hallucinations, which include Elvis, Smurfette, Hugh Hefner, and Elvira. The Bosun has a lot to think about: he
hasn’t seen his bride in ten months, the Captain wants to kill him to
make the Guinness Book of World Records, and the Engineers plan to blow
the boiler when the fuel gets down to a certain level. And then a yacht is sighted drifting in
the South Pacific, and Paula, the “sole” survivor, a beautiful woman
wearing only a bikini bottom, is brought on board the Belle, and the total madness begins. The three department (deck, engine, and
steward) fight against each other to be the first to get to Paula, who is
on the run from the moment she hits the deckplates. |
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